Mexi-NO!

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Megan and her family were visiting Dana and Jake across the border, so for New Years, we decided to surprise them and join them!
It was a short two days, but we had a really fun time.
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We swam, raced go carts, lit off fireworks, played games, ate good street tacos (where a man was arrested four feet from Navy), and celebrated the New Year.
We got out of town a bit early to avoid the back up at the border.
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Never….will I EVER do this line again!  It was over five hours to get out!
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About two hours in, when Micah realized he was going to wet his pants, and we didn’t have any sort of container or bottle to use in the car…he decided to run down a little stairway to go to the bathroom in a disgusting ravine.  Not 15 seconds after running down, one of the salesmen trying to hawk glittered Jesus statues ran after him…and moments later, a “policeman” ran down too.  I honked to alert Micah, but about three minutes later, Micah came up with handcuffs on, with his belt and top button undone.  I yelled out at the policeman that he had a family in the car, and to leave him alone, and the policeman yelled back, “No pee pee on the sidewalk” and walked on with Micah in cuffs.  The poor kids were all stunned.  Pippi started crying, Dash was silent, Navy was in shock, and Scout just stared out helpless.  I turned back and said, “Everyone…say a prayer.”  Those four children folded their arms and bowed their heads quicker than I have ever seen them!  It was a pretty sweet site from my rear view mirror.
Meanwhile, another salesman (they are literally ALL IN THESE CON JOBS TOGETHER!) came and told me what I needed to do to get him out.  He was telling me that there would be a $300 all cash fee.  I told him he was out of luck, and I would be surprised if I could scrounge up five dollars.  He was pretty nice, and wanted me to park my car and leave the kids to go and get Micah.  I told him he was dreaming…and that I would take my kids wherever I went.  He agreed, and had me park, and we all walked into Tijuana as a family holding hands.  He walked us about 1/4 mile away to a Police truck with a shell on the back.  They took me around to the back door, and when they opened the first door I saw Micah behind another chained-link door.  I asked him if he had any sort of plan, and he told me to take the lead, but to make sure to get his phone they took, back for him.  So I asked for any cash he had.  He said he had $68, but I told the guy we had $40.  He walked me over to the “boss”.  Inside basically a storage unit, the boss sat behind a single desk.  He said he needed the money, and I gave him the $40.  He then started arguing with my Mexican friend who had walked us there, and said he had heard $68.  He wanted it ALL!  I was holding the wallet with the full amount and didn’t want to get found out, so I quickly wrote on my phone and showed it to my buddy, that I was trying to tip him some cash for helping me out.  My buddy talked to the boss in Spanish, and “defended me” (more like told him that they would ultimately get it all).  He agreed to the $40, but I told him I wanted the phone first.  He held out the phone, so I grabbed the phone and dropped the cash at the same time.
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We finally went back to the truck, and they let Micah out after over an hour of being detained.  He checked out his phone, and it all looked good.  We finally walked back to our parked car, I tipped my buddy (who told me all about living in the U.S., but getting kicked out multiple times for crimes he had committed), and he got us back into the traffic jam.  Amazingly….we got back in four cars ahead of where we originally were!
Have I ever said how much I HATE Mexico?
Not the Cancun Mexico…the one that is an hour and a half away!
I HATE it!
But boy has it given my kids the paterial for wild stories to everyone they come in contact with!  And “No pee pee on the sidewalks” is an hourly phrase in our household now!

Handsome Chef

My mom’s favorite thing of the whole week, is when Micah puts gel in his hair.  She swoons all day long over his great hair!  And as a special treat to her, he keeps it in all day long for her.  Today…he surprised her even further, by staying in his nice church outfit to cook.  I literally think my mom thought it was Christmas all over again!
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She helped him put on her apron, so he could stay spic and span while creating a hot pastrami sandwich feast.
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Meanwhile, Dash decided to look his best, while he downed his own feast of Mac and Cheese.
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The only difference between these two cool dudes…Micah didn’t end up with a bright yellow/orange food ring around his mouth after eating!

Skylar’s Homecoming

Skylar gave the best homecoming talk today!
Here is a peak into what was happening from our road:
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Pippi had my phone…and captured every non-reverent moment we oozed!

Dot To Dot

A few years ago, I got my kids this awesome dot to dot.  But they aren’t easy…at all!  I challenged my kids and Grant to each complete one today, and three hours later they were all finished!  I couldn’t believe that each kid stayed with their dot to dot as long as they did!  Each had a different major city, with city view and famous landmarks.
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Scout chose Rio.
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Navy had NYC.
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Scout had San Francisco.
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Grant had Paris…and they all dominated!
Each earned their own oyster with pearl inside to open as a prize!  We used Micah’s pearl prices from Christmas Eve…minus one zero!  The best part…Seth said he would pay Grant’s pearl…and he got over $200!  Dash won $120, and I was bummed on that!  Poor Navy got $15.  And even poorer Scout got $1.50.

Makeup 101

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In college, I took the greatest theater makeup class.  This picture of my final just turned up, and people have threatened to use it as blackmail.  I tell them to threaten away…because I hit that final out of the park!
ROOOAAARRRR!

Scout’s Slide

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Kid Made.
Kid Approved.
By Scout and Dash respectively.

The Swindler

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Somehow I came across Scout’s name under the “fingerprint” section of my phone.  Meaning…he has gone in and added his own fingerprint to get access to my locked phone.  Who knows how he did it, but he is ridiculous!  When I saw him next, I said in a sassy voice, “Hey Scout…you think you are so slick!  Your fingerprint and name are now off my phone!”
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He responded with, “Hey Mom…I hope you didn’t delete ‘Scout’, because that is your fingerprint…because mine is under MamaMia!”
I checked…and he was telling the truth.
I always think I am a step ahead of these weasels…but today proved for the first time…I have no shot!

Christmas ‘18

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I feel like Christmas is such an amazing day, no cameras should be allowed.
Each year as I write about Christmas, there are no words or pictures that can sum up a literally perfect day.
But here is the perfect outline:
Micah and I made breakfast while kids opened stockings
We all cleaned up the mess
We sat down to presents around 11
We opened until they paused for the cheese plate I made
We opened presents while drinking our diet cokes Tristen grabbed
We opened until we had sandwiches Micah made
We opened and laughed and joked
Then everyone went to bed, while operation CUK took on a life of its own!
The highlights:
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B is happy and healthy(ish)!!!
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Pippi is at the funnest age!
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There are now group boy gifts.
And best of all….
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Ka was here!!!
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Merriest Christmas!

Christmas Eve ‘18

Christmas Eve is MY FAVORITE!!!  I love everything about Christmas, but Christmas Eve is the best part of it all!  This year, we decided to keep it a secret from Nonnie, and pull names.  But what she didn’t know, was that everyone was buying for her, and whomever’s name she pulled just got a rad gift.  It worked like a charm, and she had no clue.  And the best part…everyone came through with creative and awesome gifts for her.  But the best…was from Micah!
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She has been complaining about the bones in her booty for a few years.  So he got her two different padded seats for her to use on different seats she sits on regularly…but better yet…He got her padded underwear!  We were dying, and then she came out with them on…
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And then we were ROLLING!  She stuffed towels down her booty too, so when she came out looking like a Kardashian, it was hilarious!  Especially when she started “twerking”!  It was almost better than her jump!  It was so great!  After the kid’s exchanged, and we showered Nonnie with her gifts, and the PJs were opened…Micah asked if we wanted to do his gift.  We all said yep…and then for the second time in one night…
Micah dominated!
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He created a game show called “Yu Can’t Lose!”
It started off with a sweet note to me that had me in tears.  Then he had $500 taped on the back.  He then brought out wrapped presents that I could buy for $100 each.  There were seven, so I had to choose wisely.  And then my mom spotted me $200 to choose all of them!  Among the strobe lights and “Yu” yelling “Yu Can’t Lose”…I opened up several things Micah has wanted, a bag of oysters, and a caliration measuring tool.  Then he brought out a poster with pearl colors and sizes….and then Yu announced, “I buy YOUR pearls!”
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We were all freaking out and how fun it all was…and then I started opening up 20 pearls one by one!  There were pearls that ranged from $10 to $5000, that Yu was going to buy from me!
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After opening each one, he inspected the color and measured it for size, and paid me on the spot!  The BEST, was when I got two undocumented colors, and got $2,500 and $1,800 for them!  It was the funnest game on earth!!!  Micah literally had the whole family freaking out for an hour!
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In the end, yu paid me just under $6000 for my pearls!
Yu…I will sell you my pearls any day!
Micah…that was one of the most memorable Christmas’ of all time!!!
Christmas Eve never disappoints…but this year might have hit an all time high!
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After…the boys got the room ready for Christmas, and the presents out.
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Then they left to Harbor House, while Megan stuffed stockings and I created a masterpiece.
Christmas is so much more than all of the fun and treats…and that is why I really love Christmas.  But the laughing and togetherness and the pearls are a really fun part too!

Denison Christmas

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We love having a full day of celebrating Christmas on Christmas Eve Day with the Denisons.
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This year there were some kid’s games that they loved!
Navy really loved the Rudolph game!
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And we discovered today, that Scout might be passing up great Grandma in height this year!
We always have fun with the Denison crew, and especially when the whole gang is there, with the biggest spread of deliciousness a family could ever want!